Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

As I get older the years seem to genuinely get shorter... They also seem to get more and more shit. Just me that thinks this? No? Ok good. As its now two days in to 2018 I thought I'd do this post.
2017 shot by in a heartbreat. I've gone through heartbreak, been at an all time low for my self esteem and confidence, picked myself back up, transformed myself completely and became probably the most confident and happy version of myself, met David (my absolute rock and best friend, if you're reading this Caitlyn and Aileen soz x), failed uni again, been broke all year, had so many panic attacks and lows, having certain people watch your every move online and not leaving you/ your relationship alone and now here we are the end of December 2018 and to be completely honest with you - I near enough cried on Christmas day, not cause I was happy and grateful and what not, but because I was so deflated and unhappy. 
My mental health in 2017 was all over the place, I went from feeling horrific to feeling amazing to once again feeling horrific, even though I've been to some incredible places with my friends and David and have met so many amazing new people, I just cant seem to shake the feeling, to describe it I'd probably just say that I felt raw/numb? A bit cut off emotionally, and in general just feel very off and not like me. 
2017 made me its bitch but 2018 be warned cause I'm going to dominate you even if it kills me - I kid, I wont let 2018 kill me that would kinda mean that once again I was the lil bitch. 

Last years goals were to visit 4 new places, the places I said I definitely wanted to see were not places I visited but I did manage to achieve this goal. I went to the north of Scotland for the first time driving up the east coast to Jon O' Groats and down towards Fort William back to Glasgow. I also went to Fuerteventura, Ibiza and just earlier this month Amsterdam! 
Another goal was to get to 4th year of university. This did not happen and never will happen. After I pass third year I'll be leaving my university with my degree, I honestly couldn't be bothered anymore trying to get the Honours. 
The final goal I'd set last year was to build muscle and get stronger. This I definitely have done as I've gone from shoulder pressing & chest pressing 8-10kg to pressing 16-18kg! This only happened within a few months so I can only imagine how much more I'd have progressed if I'd started lifting heavier at the start of the year! 

2018 is the year I'm going to focus on me. I'm going to work on developing myself and my confidence, and overall just working on managing my mental health. At least if I could keep my panic attacks to a minimum then I'd be happy (currently having between 2-8 a month, compared to 2 in 2016...). 

I'm also going to work on my fitness more, David and I have taken a couple months out from the gym as I've just been having the shittest time of it. So 2018 will see us back at it smashing out amazing workouts. I'd also like to start prepping my body for potentially competing in bikini competitions but I'll need to have my mental health at a better point before I even consider signing up to be on stage. 

I want for me and David to start thinking about saving for a house of our own. I love his family and everything but staying in their house and not really being able to have my things here is a bit of an annoyance so I'd like to have us both saving for a place we can call our own.

Even though I want to save, I also want to see more of the world. I'm meant to be going to Vegas in April, David and I have also tossed the idea of Florida and New York for his birthday in November. We'll see how those plans work out though, since they're all fairly pricey plans. 

The only thing I want from 2018 is to be happy, and feel like me again, so please if that could happen then that would be great.